How to Stick to a Habit When Life Falls Apart

‘If you’re going through hell, keep going.’ ~Winston Churchill

We’d like to think that making positive life changes is a straight line from beginning to where we want to go.

But life has taught us differently.

Experience shows us that you can start a new habit (let’s say working out) and things go great for awhile, and then life gets in the way. Things get messy. Things fall apart. We have a few bad days, or a huge project to work on at work, or relationship problems, or a family crisis, or we get sick.

What do we do when life gets messy and our habits fall to the wayside? Well, give up, obviously.

Actually, I take that back. We tend to give up, because when things get in the way and we mess up on our habits, it’s a little discouraging, even depressing.

But it doesn’t have to be. There are a few things you can do instead:

1. Breathe. Pause for a moment, breathe, focus on the breath. Know that you are OK, in this moment. Give yourself a moment’s space to think about what’s going on in your life, and who you are.
2. Give yourself a break. If things like relationship problems get in the way of your habits, allow yourself to pause the habits until you get your life in order and let your mind rest. Rest is important. Get plenty of sleep — this is important, because when stressful things are happening in our lives, our bodies and minds need plenty of rest to heal.
3. Know that every habit has bumps in the road. There’s never a perfectly smooth path with no bumps. Seriously, no habit goes on a perfectly straight line — at least, none that I’ve created, and none that anyone I know has created. Expect the bumps, and don’t let them end everything.
4. Allow yourself to experience the messy. Things will always come up, life gets messy, painful things happen. That’s OK. Give yourself the space to experience the pain with the joy, the mess with the beauty.
5. Find a friend to help you get on track. It’s great if you can do habits by yourself, but it’s even better if you can find a friend who will do it with you, or at least hold you accountable, and help you get things back on track once things clear up for you.
6. Keep smiling!. That’s the most important thing. Smile, and you’re doing it right.

Zen Mind in the Middle of Chaos & Stress

Zen Mind: How to Declutter

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One of the things that gives me most peace is have a clean, simple home. When I wake up in the morning and walk out into a living room that has been decluttered, that has a minimalist look, and there isn’t junk lying around, there is a calm and joy that enters my heart.

When, on the other hand, I walk out into a living room cluttered with toys and books and extra things all over the place, it is chaos and my mind is frenetic.

I’ve been a simplifier and a declutterer for years now (probably 8-9 years) and I’ve gotten pretty good at it, but I’ve found that you have to keep coming back to revisit your clutter every once in awhile.

Here are my top decluttering tips:

• Do it in small chunks. Set aside just 15 minutes to declutter just one shelf, and when that shelf or that 15 minutes is up, celebrate your victory. Then tackle another shelf for 15 minutes the next day. Conquering an entire closet or room can be overwhelming, and you might put it off forever. If that’s the case, just do it in baby steps.
• Set aside a couple hours to do it. This may seem contradictory to the above tip … and it is. It’s simply a different strategy, and I say do whatever works for you. Sometimes, for me, it’s good to set aside part of a morning, or an entire Saturday morning, to declutter a closet or room. I do it all at once, and when I’m done, it feels awesome.
• Take everything out of a shelf or drawer at once. Whichever of the two above strategies you choose, you should focus on one drawer or shelf at a time, and empty it completely. Then clean that shelf or drawer. Then, take the pile and sort it (see next tip), and put back just what you want to keep. Then tackle the next shelf or drawer.
• Sort through your pile, one item at a time, and make quick decisions. Have a trash bag and a give-away box handy. When you pull everything out of a shelf or drawer, sort through the pile one at a time. Pick up an item, and make a decision: trash, give away, or keep. Don’t put it back in the pile. Do this with the entire pile, and soon, you’ll be done. If you keep sorting through the pile, and re-sorting, it’ll take forever. Put back only what you want to keep, and arrange it nicely.
• Be merciless. You may be a pack rat, but the truth is, you won’t ever use most of the junk you’ve accumulated. If you haven’t used it in the last year, get rid of it. It’s as simple as that. If you’ve only used it once or twice in the last year, but know you won’t use it in the next year, get rid of it. Toss it if it’s unsalvageable, and give it away if someone else might be able to use it.
• Papers? Be merciless, unless it’s important. Magazines, catalogues, junk mail, bills more than a year old, notes to yourself, notes from others, old work stuff … toss it! The only exception is with tax-related stuff, which should be kept for seven years, and other important documents like warranties, birth and death and marriage certificates, insurance, wills, and other important documents like that. But you’ll know those when you see ‘em. Otherwise, toss!!!!
• If you are on the fence with a lot of things, create a “maybe” box. If you can’t bear to toss something because you might need it later, put it in the box, then close the box, label it, and put it in storage (garage, attic, closet), out of sight. Most likely, you’ll never open that box again. If that’s the case, pull it out after six months or a year, and toss it or give it away.
• Create a system to stop clutter from accumulating. There’s a reason you have tall stacks of papers all over the place, and big piles of toys and books and clothes. It’s because you don’t have a regular system to keep things in their place, and get rid of stuff you don’t need. This is a topic for another day, but it’s something to think about as you declutter. You’ll never get to perfect, but if you think more intelligently about how your house got cluttered, perhaps you can find ways to stop it from happening again.
• Celebrate when you’re done! This is actually a general rule in life: always celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Even if you just decluttered one drawer, that’s great. Treat yourself to something delicious. Open that drawer (or closet, or whatever), and admire its simplicity. Breathe deeply and know that you have done a good thing. Bask in your peacefulness.

Other posts about decluttering elsewhere:

• FlyLady: How to Declutter
• FlyLady: Declutter 15 minutes a day
• Declutter Guide: Where do i start?
• Create a relaxing and clutter-free home
• Positivity guide: Declutter, declutter, declutter
• Paauwerfully organized: Declutter your life
• BellaOnline: Declutter/Simplify
• How to Declutter Your Life
• Organizing 101: Resolve to Declutter
• Homeorganizing.com: Declutter forever